One of the biggest learning opportunities throughout my journey with the Course comes up when I feel desperate for something to happen.
I may be desperate for money, for a shift in a relationship, for time, for a job, whatever. And in my desperation, I want Holy Spirit to make it happen for me.
I pray, I “forgive” what I want, I pretend that I’m handing it over to Holy Spirit. But when I am desperate for something, I usually have established that THIS THING NEEDS TO HAPPEN, AND IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN THIS WAY. IF IT DOESN’T, I WILL NOT BE HAPPY.
This is a recipe for despair and unhappiness. Sometimes, the world will give us what we’re desperate for and then we experience a moment of happiness–until we’re desperate for the next thing, of course. But when what we want DOESN’T appear to happen, this is when deep anger with Holy Spirit comes in.
Ken Wapnick says we ask Jesus to fix things for us, and
“[He] says: “No.” Not because he is angry or vindictive. But because he says there is nothing there to fix. “Don’t ask me to fix up your specific problems; ask me rather to join with you, which will undo the cause of all of your specific problems.”
Here’s the explanation for why trying to make things happen in the world, for why manifesting doesn’t make me happy.
When I’m desperate for things in the world, I’m saying to Jesus, THIS IS REAL. MY ILLUSION THAT I AM SEPARATE FROM LOVE IS REAL, AND I WANT YOU TO REINFORCE IT BY MAKING THINGS HAPPEN HERE.
And Jesus is like, no, honey, no.
He wants me to remember that it is not real. That my one true need is to rejoin with the Love, the Freedom of God, of Oneness, of All.
So the next time you feel desperate for something to happen, don’t feel bad about it. Just lay it on the altar (give it to Holy Spirit for real–aka hand it over and let it go) and ask to join with Love. Then, whether it comes or does not come, you will be full, at peace, and happy. You know that you’ve already got everything you need in your mind. This is God’s Gift to us. Amen.