Sometimes when I read ACIM students’ blogs or Facebook posts, I really start to feel like they have it all together. Like they get it on a level that I don’t. I experienced this during the weekly ACIM study groups I attend, too. People seemed to be feeling so happy and connected, and I was like crap. I must not be there yet.
But last night, I decided to open up a little bit to Holy Spirit’s interpretation (and stop comparing), and I had a totally different experience at my study group. I had some great aha moments, and I thought I’d share.
- Everyone’s just trying to figure this ACIM stuff out and how it all works. We all have these fleeting moments of oneness and happiness, where we’re like I GET IT!!! And then we have moments of sadness, doubt, and despair.
No one is having a “perfect” experience, a flawless experience, because the point of the Course is to bring up all those things you believed were flaws! It brings all that deep, dark, ugly stuff that you wanted to hide up to the surface, which doesn’t usually feel good. But once it comes up, it can be healed so you can feel good again.
- The ego is always waiting to use ACIM for its purposes. In other words, you can so easily use this material to beat yourself up.
You begin to have these nagging feelings that you’re not practicing hard enough, trusting enough, reading enough. You believe that you don’t deserve the miracle or to feel happy because you’re not working hard enough.
ACIM just becomes another thing you’re failing at in life.
BUT THAT’S NOT THE POINT OF SPIRITUAL/PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT!!!
The point is to release your blocks to love (self-worth, self-love), not to build them higher. Would God ever look at you and say you’re not doing enough? Would Jesus ever look at you and say you’re not doing enough? No way!
“My trust in you is greater than yours in me at the moment, but it will not always be that way. […] I do not choose channels wrongly. […] Your judgement may be so distorted that you believe I was mistaken for choosing you. I assure you this is a mistake of your ego.”